As much as I dislike generalizations about “Degenerate Hollywood Values” I’d like to make one.

My homeboy Sean – the guy who was hospitalized a few weeks ago, and who incidentally holds a PhD in mechanical engineering in spite of being both color blind and lacking depth perception – and I drove through the Hollywood Hills, while listening to Bob Seger wax nostalgic about the Hollywood Hills, which I am sure nobody has ever done before, ever.

Sunset Boulevard is nothing special. In fact, its a bit run down. To illustrate this point, we saw motels proudly claiming that their rooms are, in fact, clean. As my brother Jon oftentimes says, “If you gotta say it, it ain’t true.”

On our left we saw an odd museum, with the name “Psychiatry: An Industry of Death.” Outside the museum was a 15-foot long poster of a girl tied to a bed, screaming. An eerie, chilling introduction to what might be in there.

Intrigued, I Googled the museum and found out it is owned by the Church of Scientology.

Welcome to LA, I guess.

See, I consider myself a true liberal: Someone who is largely open, tolerant and understanding. Specifically, my tolerance extends to those who disagree with me, but do so in a sane, rational manner.

But there is always a line to be drawn in the sand. I am not open, tolerant or understanding of people who willingly choose to be bat shit crazy. Thus, I do not tolerate the Scientologists. It is one thing to speak Elvish from Lord of the Rings or Klingon from Star Trek. Those are hobbies, intellectual outlets that allow people to expand their creativity in, er, unique ways; and besides, if learning languages that don’t exist means these people stay far away from me, then more power to them. It is another to claim that 100,000 people a year die in psychiatric hospitals, as their website claims. (http://www.scientology.org/en_US/news-media/news/2005/051221.html)

Religious tolerance is a big issue these days. But to base a religion on a science fiction novel? I mean, come on. Knock it off. Come back to reality.

And take down that museum. And that Church. And you should join the only organization that tells the truth: The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Join the Pastafarians and know what it means to see the Truth. Aaaargh!!!! (http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/)

Why didn't anybody tell me being a hippie sucked?

Oh yeah, Cartman on South Park did. But I did not listen. I hang my head in shame.

Living in LA without a car is like running a marathon with two broken legs, no crutches and no painkillers.

In theory, it only takes 10-15 minutes to get to school by bus. In reality, it takes well over a half-hour to get there, and over an hour to get home by the same route! The buses don't run well -- if at all! -- in this town. And they run less frequently late at night when my classes end. Further, to get to school by bus I have to go through South Central LA... you know, the ones all the pissed off rappers are always referring to? Now I see why they are so pissed. That place sucks. And the juxtaposition of the beautiful USC campus located smack-dab in the middle of the ghetto must infuriate the locals even more, which is something I am not fond of doing.

And, I tried taking the "metro" here in town as well. The Red Line stop is only a few blocks from my house, so in theory it should be a snap. Again, what would take 15 minutes by car in traffic took around 45 minutes by metro. First, the trains don't run frequently. Second, they run VERY slowly when they do run at all. Third, uh, well there is no third. I just like using three examples as a general rule, but I couldn't think of one. Sorry.

What's really interesting about the LA metro is that it is based on the honor system. There are no physical impediments to entering the train area. Sure, in theory if someone gets caught without a fare pass they could get in trouble. But such a system is very unsafe: Anybody can walk through to the train area, mug a passenger and run away without anything to stop them other than a rent-a-cop who may not even give a shit in the first place.

So, after being carless for one week, I have decided to get a car. Yes, I have already given up. It is too slow, too dangerous and flat out inconvenient to not have a car in this town.

I tried. I failed.

Cartman, please forgive me.

As you can tell from the photo, my car is toast. The good news is, now that it's 1/2 the size it used to be, it is officially suitable for European streets. Who needs an engine, a trunk and leg room? Those things are way overrated.

In spite of my newfound auto-Euro-enlightenment, I took the cash Geico offered me. At first I was quite thrilled; I got a good bit more than I thought I would. But then I thought about it a little further, and realized that my settlement is roughly equivalent to six months rent.

That damned economics degree has ruined my enjoyment of life.

Economics. Just Say No.

Meanwhile, I have determined, at least for the time being, to try to go car-less.

That’s right, I have decided to reconnect with my hippie roots. No more car for me. From now on, it’s by bus, by foot, and bye bye social life. No dating (as if that was happening anyway), no hanging out after school (that has been happening and now is going the way of the Passenger Pigeon) and no more trips to Trader Joe's. Geico is paying for a rental car through Friday, so I’ll be running up the miles on that car as much as possible. I’ve made several trips to Costco, as I have stocked up on 800 rolls of paper towels and 6000 bottles of water so I don’t have to drink rust. I took a quick tour of Hollywood, which it turns out is only a few miles from where I live. Nothing special is going on there that I could tell. I hope to get to Joshua Tree State Park or some other area by Friday.

School is going well. I am still the guy that doesn’t shut up and says stupid stuff all the time, so nothing has changed there either.

I hope all is well with you, wherever you are. Stay in touch.

Well, by popular demand, here is what is left of my car. It is the best photo I have that shows the full extent of the damage.

So here is how I celebrated the 5th anniversary of 9/11:

On Sunday, 9/10, I was invited to see the Getty Museum with some classmates. Ever eager to socialize, I agreed. So I spent a lazy Sunday getting dressed, showering, studying, and taking a leisurely afternoon nap.

At around 12:30, when I went to my car, it was gone. At first I thought I parked it in a different place, as I have a habit of doing from time to time. But when I got closer I noticed shattered glass on the ground.

I flagged down some cops who were driving by. The one cop asked, "Was that your Honda Civic?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"It's totaled," he said, barely stifling a laugh. "A drunk driver smashed into the back of it and took off. We know who he is so it won't be long ‘til we get him."

Turns out the person they are after has no drivers license or insurance. Oddly, that works very much in my favor. I had full insurance coverage from Geico, including uninsured driver's insurance. A part of that policy states that if I am hit by an uninsured driver they waive the deductible. So, ironically, I am getting an extra $500 because the other dude is an irresponsible fuckwad.

God bless irresponsible fuckwads.

And I get 30 days car rental. So, if I may, I strongly suggest that everyone and their sibling get this extra coverage. If I didn't have full insurance coverage I'd be in a much worse mood.

I just got back from the salvage yard. Although I am currently unable to upload a photo, rest assured my Honda Civic was turned into an Accord-ian.

Ba dam bump. Thanks folks, I'll be here all night. Try the veal, and don't forget to tip your waitress.

Honestly, its tough to get angry and upset with such nice weather and beautiful people.

Hope all is well.

Folks, it's official: I need your help. If there is anybody out there who is familiar with bizarre tap water?

So, here's the deal: I noticed pretty early on that my tap water behaved in strange ways. It wouldn't sit when I told it to, it is not housetrained yet...

Sorry. Seriously though, when I put tap water into my non-teflon frying pan and let it sit for an hour or so, a bizarre, rust-like substance formed. When I went to wash my frying pan, I noticed it became permanently stained. The same thing happened with my knives.

If that's not weird enough, check this out: I bought one of those three-stage Pur water filters that attaches directly to my faucet. I sat that water in my pan, and still the rusty film appeared, but it was more scattered throughout the pan and not concentrated like the direct tap water.

And if that's not weird enough, I then tried boiling the filtered water. Heck, boiling filtered water for five minutes should fix the problem, right?

Wrong.

After boiling the filtered water and let it sit and evaporate, the bottom of my frying pan got stained yet again with what looks like "rust dust" instead of clumps of rust.

No matter what I do with the water my frying pan keeps getting stained. Worse, after sitting for an hour, the water turns rust colored as well, even if I boil the filtered water.

Here's where you come in: Does anybody have any friggin clue about what could cause this? Is this just reaction to the metal or what? I mean, c'mon, it is even safe to drink boiled water in China, but I have serious questions about the boiled, filtered water in LA?

Meanwhile, I am drinking bottled water and am NOT boiling spaghetti. Fuck that. I am not eating rusty spaghetti no matter how tasty my fresh, homemade pasta sauce tastes.